Not The Same Old Joker
by Windrises
Summary: The Joker tries to do a new master plan, but an unexpected detour messes up his criminal mind.


Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. The Joker was created by the previously two mentioned gentlemen with help by Jerry Robinson and was inspired by actor Conrad Veidt. The Joker's origin was written by Alan Moore. Harley Quinn was created by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini.

The Joker was prancing around his hideout. He looked around and said, "Things have been a little boring. Lets get our humor on." Joker looked around and saw that most of his henchmen were gone. He angrily asked, "Where are those lazy losers?"

Harley Quinn walked up to him and answered, "Batman captured and had them sent to prison."

Joker angrily threw a sword at one of his clocks and said, "Clock King was right about me wasting time. However, nobody wastes more time than that foolish Batman. He has criminals locked up and they keep escaping. Why does he bother with it?"

Harley replied, "Batman holds on to the slim chance of them redeeming."

Joker laughed and said, "Batman may be a detective, but he hasn't found the obvious clues that reveal what a fool he is. He even thinks that I can be redeemed. It seems like our precious Batman has an even dumber sense of optimism than Superman. I need to show him that I'm going to be the same old Joker forever. Start thinking of plans."

Harley folded her arms and replied, "You told me that you would take me on a date tonight."

Joker coldly responded, "The date's been cancelled."

Harley said, "We need to talk about our relationship."

Joker replied, "No." Harley loved Joker, but she was getting tired of how unreliable he was so she stuck her tongue out at him. Joker saw her and ordered her to get out. Harley walked out and started heading back to her apartment. She called Poison Ivy on the way there.

Joker spent a few minutes thinking about ideas. He stopped his thinking when his phone rang. He picked it up and asked, "What's going on?"

The Penguin was the one who was calling the Joker. Penguin said, "Greetings my dear clown. Your assistance is greatly needed in a business matter of mine. A rival business has been corrupting the eloquent stature of my company."

Joker replied, "No offense Pengy, but your fancy words are too much for my immature brain."

The Penguin responded, "Fair enough. Black Mask's popularity in the crime business has been making my company lose money. Get rid of his company and I'll give you my recent collection of diamonds."

Joker asked, "Why would I care about diamonds?"

Penguin sighed and replied, "I often forget how low your love for culture is. You should know that each diamond is worth close to one hundred thousand dollars." Joker had an evil smile on his face.

Meanwhile, Batman was trying to find out where the Joker was. He broke into Harley Quinn's apartment to try to get information about the Joker's location from her.

Harley and Poison Ivy heard the sound of Batman breaking one of the windows and coming into the apartment. Batman looked around and grabbed Harley. Batman angrily asked, "Where's your precious Joker?"

Harley said, "I honestly don't know."

Batman coldly replied, "That's not what I need you to say."

Poison Ivy responded, "It's the only answer that you're going to get out of her." She used her plant powers to knock Batman to the ground.

Batman grumpily said, "I don't have time for these silly antics. I bribed one of Penguin's henchmen into telling me that Penguin's hired Joker to blow up one of his rival's business companies. I have to find out which one it is before an entire building blows up."

Poison Ivy replied, "We don't care about those dumb buildings anyways. Those greedy fools have destroyed enough plants."

Batman said, "This isn't about plants. It's about saving real people."

Harley tapped Batman on the head and asked, "You actually care about saving a building full of criminals?"

Batman tried to talk in a more gentle voice while saying, "Anybody can be redeemed. Cynical people, like you, think that bad guys can never change."

Harley laughed and asked, "You think that Ivy and I are the cynical ones? You're the grumpiest person that I know."

Batman angrily replied, "Tell me where the Joker is."

Poison Ivy said, "Neither of us know."

Batman used a bunch of batarangs to get free from Poison Ivy's plant traps and said, "I'm too busy to arrest you, but Commissioner Gordon and his team will be here soon. I can promise a lighter sentence if you give up willingly." Batman left.

Harley faced Poison Ivy and asked, "What should we do?"

Poison Ivy sighed and said, "Lets surrender."

Harley asked, "Are you going crazy?"

Poison Ivy said, "I know that's not a very glamorous idea, but if I keep breaking out of Arkham I'll never get a chance to live a free life with the plants that I promised to protect."

Harley replied, "But Arkham's full of nutty dorks."

Poison Ivy smiled and said, "Then lets bribe the guards into making us cellmates." Ivy and Harley high-fived.

The Joker burst into Black Mask's company. He wore a clown mask to keep Black Mask from knowing who he was. He whispered, "I need to find a place to put up a bomb." Joker's disguise wasn't very convincing, but that was part of the joke for him.

One of Black Mask's henchmen walked into Black Mask's office and said, "The Joker's here."

Black Mask angrily replied, "That fool is too untrustworthy. Get him out of my building."

Joker had already set up the bomb, but he was bored so he sat down on one of the lobby's couches and watched TV.

One of the secretaries asked, "Do you have an appointment?"

The Joker said, "I'm afraid that I don't." He took off his mask and said, "I'm too high class to have the need for such a thing."

The secretary sternly replied, "You need to get out."

The Joker lightly chuckled and said, "Black Mask and his staff sure have guts. What's your name?"

The secretary said, "Jeannie." The Joker paused and felt a sudden rash of fear. He knew that he had met someone named Jeannie. The Jeannie that worked for Black Mask wasn't the woman he knew. He started walking out of the building while trying to remember Jeannie.

Batman was standing outside the building. He saw Joker coming close to the building's front exit so he grabbed him and angrily asked, "Where's the bomb?"

The Joker asked, "How did you find out what I'm up to and my location?"

Batman answered, "I did some detective work."

The Joker replied, "It's about time your brain was used for something productive."

Batman punched the Joker in the face and said, "Just tell me where the bomb is."

The Joker replied, "I'll tell you if you tell me who Jeannie is."

Batman asked, "What are you talking about?"

The Joker answered, "An obsessive detective, like you, surely knows his rival's best better than he does."

Batman replied, "I know who you're talking about, but you need to tell me where the bomb is first."

The Joker said, "It's behind the lobby's TV."

Batman ran into the building, but Black Mask's henchmen started beating him up.

Black Mask said, "You're not the costumed menace that I was trying to destroy, but getting rid of you is going to be a blast."

Batman replied, "Spare me the petty fights and let me get to the TV. There's a bomb under there."

One of the henchmen asked, "Do you think that he's bluffing?"

Black Mask said, "I'm going to find out." He walked up to the TV and found the bomb.

Batman said, "I can save your life and the building if you stop trying to hurt me and let me get rid of the bomb."

Black Mask replied, "I have a more tempting idea." He tied the bomb to Batman and had his henchmen throw Batman into an alley that was blocks away. They were unaware that Batman knew how to defuse a bomb. They also didn't know that Batman hired a team of over two dozen police officers to come to Black Mask's hideout to arrest him and his henchmen.

An hour later Batman went to an empty building that the Joker was playing around in. Batman walked in while carrying a file. The Joker said, "It seems like you live up to your promises."

Batman replied, "This file explains who Jeannie is, but it's a rough story."

The Joker grabbed the file and started reading the contents. The papers revealed that Jeannie was Joker's wife before he became the clown prince of crime. He was a struggling comedian who lived with Jeannie in a small apartment. Jeannie lost her life to a duo of gangsters.

Batman tried offer Joker sympathy. He touched his shoulder and said, "I'm sorry."

Joker kicked Batman to the ground and asked, "Do you think that a past life that I can't even remember will make me change my ways? The old me is gone. I'm the Joker and I'll never be anything else. Don't feel sorry for me." Joker put a bomb in the building. He walked out and locked the door. Batman still had his bomb defusing skills so it wasn't a challenge to stop the bomb, but he wasn't sure where the Joker was going next.

The Joker drove to Harley's apartment. He looked around and noticed that she wasn't there. He called her.

Harley picked up the phone and said, "Hi Joker."

The Joker angrily asked, "Where are you?"

Harley answered, "In Arkham."

The Joker asked, "How are you allowed to have your phone in there?"

Poison Ivy answered, "Harley and I surrendered so we got to a keep a few things."

The Joker laughed and said, "You two are so lame that you surrendered."

Poison Ivy replied, "Maybe, but Harley and I are happy together. Despite being a clown, you're miserable on the inside."

The Joker angrily responded, "Shut up."

Harley replied, "When you get sent back to Arkham we can start over as friends."

The Joker responded, "I don't need your petty friendship. In fact, I'm going to go visit a different friend of mine." He did an evil laugh.

The Joker visited Penguin's building. He broke into Penguin's office and said, "Hi Pengy."

Penguin asked, "What's going on?"

Joker answered, "I got rid of Black Mask's company."

Penguin shook his head and said, "You had Batman arrest Black Mask and his henchmen, but his company is still around. Somebody will likely take it over and give me another rivalry."

Joker said, "I deserve payment for what I did."

Penguin opened his case of diamonds and said, "You may have one."

Joker pointed a gun at Penguin and replied, "I'm taking all of them."

Batman walked in and said, "Cut it out." He punched Joker to the ground and got rid of the gun.

Penguin said, "Thank you arriving Mr. Batman. Arrest this clown for attempted murder and robbery."

Batman put handcuffs on Penguin and replied, "You're the one who stole the diamonds. I've been doing a lot of detective work and I found out about all the criminal business that you've been doing for the past few years."

Penguin pointed out that Joker ran away and asked, "What about the Joker?"

Batman answered, "I know where he's going."

Batman drove to a graveyard. Joker had used the file to find Jeannie's grave. Batman walked up to Joker.

The Joker said, "Most of my memories of the past had left my brain after you put me in those chemicals. However, the name Jeannie brought a lot of those memories back."

Batman asked, "What do you remember about her?"

The Joker had a sad look on his face while saying, "She was my one true love. I've never truly loved anybody since then."

Batman replied, "I understand the pain that you're dealing with."

The Joker angrily responded, "Yeah right. You didn't deal with having a loved one be shot."

Batman said, "Two of the dearest people in my life were shot. It's why I became Batman."

The Joker asked, "We're both people who became costumed fools, because of a tragedy? We truly are the same."

Batman asked, "Do you miss her?"

The Joker started having tears coming down his eyes while saying, "This can't be possible. I'm a monster who's not supposed to have any genuine emotion."

Batman replied, "I know it's overly optimistic of me to expect you to change your ways. I know that some types of evil don't go away. I'm not asking for you to change everything right now." He stuck his arms in the air and said, "All I ask is that you let me comfort you. We're both stubborn fools who ignore the painful past and use our tragedies to not grow up." He offered the Joker a hug. The Joker accepted the hug, but he didn't know why. Batman gently hugged him and wiped the Joker's tears away.

The Joker asked, "Am I a fool for missing her?"

Batman answered, "No you're not. You and I are equally flawed. I've been tempted to break my no guns rule when it comes to you, but now I see that nobody starts off evil and that's why I believe the evil that corrupted them can be taken away."

The Joker replied, "Spare me the sentimentality." Batman put handcuffs on the Joker.

The next day Joker hanged out in Arkham's lounge while staring at a picture of Jeannie. He hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Harley faced Poison Ivy and said, "I feel sorry for him."

Poison Ivy replied, "I feel sorry for him for for the first time in my life."

Harley sat next to the Joker. Joker asked, "What do you want?"

Harley answered, "Just trying to comfort you."

Joker replied, "I'm a hopeless case so just leave me alone."

Poison Ivy handed Joker a plant and said, "You're like a plant that hasn't had water in a few days. The plants may seem like they have no hope, but if a nice person comes around with a cup of water they can have a bright future."

Ivy and Harley gave Joker a friendship hug. Joker cried a tear of happiness. Batman was watching them while outside. Seeing the Joker's soft side made Batman feel proud for not taking his enemies to Arkham instead of shooting them. He didn't know if Joker would change his ways, but he knew he had the potential to improve and that made Batman smile harder than he had done in a long time.


End file.
